A Guide To Man Points


Several years ago a friend of mine (thanks Dom) introduced me to something I always knew existed but could never put into words: man points. What are man points, you ask?

Each man on planet earth has a manliness quotient. A man can earn man points and add to his manliness quotient by performing acts of manliness, or he can subtract from his quotient by performing unmanly deeds. For example, I recently earned man points by repairing my gas grill. However, during that same period I lost man points by riding my little scooter to Lowes while wearing Crocs to purchase a tool I needed.

Man points are not awarded by an individual. Rather, they are simply woven into the fabric of the universe (don’t ask me how I know all this stuff, I just do).

Some men, such as Russell Crowe, have high manliness quotients, while other men, like Richard Simmons, are on the lower end.

What can a man do to earn man points? While not an exhaustive list, here are some examples:

  • Eat meat from an animal that you personally tracked and killed.
  • Grow a full beard (no shaving the neck allowed).
  • Perform a difficult home repair without the aid of any professional (bonus points if you’re bleeding by the end).
  • Drink a large glass full of raw eggs and then go for a long run; or practice boxing on large sides of beef.
  • Have any of the following nicknames: Mr. Pain, Muscles, King Kong, Piledriver.
  • Continue playing football after breaking or dislocating any appendage (I don’t personally recommend this, but I didn’t invent man point rules).

How does one lose man points? By:

  • Using a Bible cover with a handle that makes it look like a purse.
  • Watching any movie starring Hugh Grant or listening to music by Josh Groban.
  • Driving a Mazda Miata or Volkswagen Beetle.
  • Wearing a turtleneck, overly tight jeans with fake rips in them, or getting hair highlights.

Now, I mean no offense by any of these stipulations. Remember, I didn’t invent these. Don’t argue with me, take it up with the fabric of the universe.

I have two questions. First, would you add anything to my list? Second, for the ladies: Is there such a thing as ‘girl points’, and if so, how do your earn them?

+photo by Shermeee

Want A Free Book?!?

We'd love to give you the book Praying The Promises for free! It will walk you through God's promises and how to pray them. Just sign up below to get your copy IMMEDIATELY! It's like Christmas!

Powered by ConvertKit

Stephen Altrogge

I'm a husband, dad, writer, & Mixed Martial Arts Salsa Dancing Champion. I created The Blazing Center. I've also written some books which people seem to like. You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook