In Case Of Rapture, Click Here

rapture and dog

With the current interest in judgment day and the end of the world, it should not be surprising that some Christians would be concerned for the welfare of their pets in the event that the owners are suddenly caught up to heaven.

Sure enough, some concerned pet owners have launched a website to meet such a serious need.? For a small $10 fee, which is charged only to discourage everyone but serious Christian pet owners, promises to have non-Christians search for your pets and look after them in the event you are raptured.? They promise to take care of every legitimate kind of pet, even insects that are left behind.? Yes, even your pet tarantula will be in good hands – that is, if you trust the unbelievers who will be running

We have 2 dogs, which actually look rather post-apocalyptic since we recently had them shaved.? My wife failed to specify how short to shave them, so the groomer did an extreme job, shaving every bit of hair from their bodies but their tails and snouts.? So they actually look like dog versions of the Zombies in “I Am Legend.”? I think they will probably be fine after the rapture, hiding in empty buildings and eating other pets whose owners didn’t sign them up with

Here they are: End Time Zombie Dogs

Now would be a good time to launch other end-time businesses.? After the rapture, we’ll need people to water our plants, trim our bushes and get the honey from our beehives.? What if the rapture happens while you’re barbecuing on your patio?? will come to your house, turn off your grill, remove your burgers, and give your grill a final scrape.
And who’s going to care for the wild birds in your neighborhood?? will make sure those Chickadees and Pileated Woodpeckers don’t go hungry.? will come to your house and unplug your electric razor that was left buzzing in the bathroom sink when you were raptured while shaving, as happened in the classic movie “A Thief in the Night.”? Here’s the opening scene.? Show this to your non-Christian friends and they’ll get saved on the spot.

And we all know that many Christians’ cars will suddenly be driverless when the rapture occurs, causing accidents and stranding vehicles all over the planet.? That’s why will make millions.? So will and And what airline wouldn’t sign up for to protect their customers?

The field is wide open for rapture-based websites.? What others would you suggest?


  • Lisa says:

    Websites for stay-at-home moms could abound!,, and could be very popular, but my favorite would be We wouldn't want the post-rapture houses of Christians to be a stench to the remaining neighborhood…

  • Emily says:

    …that Thief in the Night movie left me with nightmares for years after my fifth grade Sunday school teacher thought it would be good for us to watch it. :( I dreamed everybody got their heads cut off… and got left behind while walking up a hill …

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    These are great Lisa. I agree, nothing says “bad witness” like poopie diapers left behind.

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    Wow Emily that’s terrible. Have you finally recovered? I saw that movie around 1976 … Don’t remember anybody getting their head cut off – was that in the movie?

  • David Wilson says:

    Poopie diapers … left BEHIND?

    Did you go there, Mark? Really?

    (quickly records pun for future blog post)

    Frankly, I'm very disappointed!


  • Mark Altrogge says:

    It was purely accidental Dave. Either that or I’m turning into my dad.

  • David Wilson says:

    Let's just hope Stephen doesn't turn into HIS dad!

  • drewe says: Investing your left over funds in surviving Christian witness and ministry…..

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    I would feel sorry for him if he did, because it's really hard being me.

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    Good ones Drewe. Or sorryIdidn'

  • Wow. I can't tell your dogs apart anymore. They look nothing like the dogs I remember being around your house. End time zombie dogs indeed!

    Someone should probably come around and turn off any computers I've left on. Those won't be good for the power grid, which may be blowing up because of the earthquakes anyway.

  • MarkAltrogge says:

    Brando, you probably have enough computers in your house to take down the entire power grid. There you go –

  • LMH says:

    Your poor doggies sure do get a bum rap. They look like very sweet zombie dogs.

  • Peanut says:

    Wow, there is another atheist named Bart Centre who charges $135 ( a fee that increased from 110 after Harold Campings prediction took hold) per animal for a 10-year pet policy for those awaiting the rapture. He and his buddies created a contract to ensure the safety and love of the poor furry fellows left behind. He currently has over 200 clients! He says the fact that the world isn't ending today is not likely to effect business.

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    Oh they come across sweet, alright, but deep down they are sinister….

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    Wow, Peanut, I guess there's lots of money to be made out there…

  • Peanut says:

    Apparently so! Camping reportedly received 18.5 million dollars in donations alone in 2009 when he started this whole campaign not to mention the 24 million in stock and publicly traded securities. He will have some 'splainin to do when Christ does return.

  • Mark Altrogge says:

    That's big bucks…but I feel sorry for him. He's probably sincere, but seriously misguided.

  • Peanut says:

    I know, bless him, he's 89 and surely is facing the end of his life soon regardless of the rapture or not. I pray that he at least perhaps will get with God and evaluate what he has spent so much energy doing and repent. The message that needs to be spread if we are sure the end is near is not that the end is near-it's the Gospel that needs to go on billboards!

  • Mark Altrogge says:


  • Pam says:

    Uh…Yes. lots of heads chopped off.

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