BREAKING: Small Church In Illinois Finally Gets It Right For Jesus



(Amboy, ILL)?– After 2,000 years, a church has finally gotten it right for Jesus.

“We’re really proud of our accomplisment,” said Pastor Fred Riddle, the longtime pastor of First Church of God in Amboy, Illinois. “Over the years a lot of churches have tried to get it right for Jesus, so we’re feeling really proud that we actually managed to get it right. I like to think the apostles would be proud”

When asked about what specific things his church has gotten “right”, he replied, “Oh you know, pretty much everything. Worship, evangelism, end-times theology, the spiritual gifts. There are no worship wars going on in our church, because we pretty much got the whole worship thing nailed.”

Long time member Beth Francis said, “I really respect people who go to other churches. I mean, I know those other churches are trying their best. Yeah, they mess up a lot of things, but at least they’re trying. Of course, I wouldn’t let my kids go to another church. But I certainly do respect those other churches for trying so hard!”

Pastor Riddle said, “How do I know we’ve gotten it all right? It’s just one of those things you know in your gut. When I compare our church to all the other churches I get a good feeling in my G.I. tract. That’s how I know we’re on the right track. I’m kind of surprised more people haven’t been coming to our church to see all the great things we’ve got going on here.”

The church currently boasts a membership of 42 adults and children.

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