The Interview With Barnabas Piper That TMZ Wanted, But I Got First

When Barnabas’ book,?The Pastor’s Kid, released last week, he was interviewed on approximately 3,000 different blogs. And while the interviews were good, they all kind of sounded the same. What’s it like to be John Piper’s son? Did you ever do any big sins? Did you feel like you were on display for the church? You get the point.

So I decided to ask the tough questions. The questions that everyone wanted to ask, but didn’t have the guts to do it. TMZ wanted this interview, but I got it first.

Enjoy.

If you, your brothers, and your dad, were dropped into a cage and forced to fight to the death, who would survive??

We would all hold hands and refuse to fight until whoever the jerkface was that dropped us there was forced to kill us all inspiring a mass revolution which ultimately would lead to the jerkface?s demise.

Either that or I would because I am the youngest with the most pent up angst not to mention I have at least 5 inches of reach and 20 pounds on any of those hobbits. It used to be they could take me because of old man strength, but now that we?re all past 30 with multiple children it?s done; I win.

People seem to be fascinated by the inner workings of your family. Did you ever flip over a table at dinner? Did your dad ever say, “I’m trying to turn this into a house of prayer, and you kids are turning it?into a WWE match”?

I never flipped tables at dinner. That happened when I was losing at checkers or chess to my brother. I also broke a bathroom door with a hockey skate guard while trying to beat some sense into that same brother. None of this was at the expense of it being a house of prayer, though. We did a lot of that too.

Your dad doesn’t like TV. Did you ever sneak watch TV??

Correction. My dad doesn?t own a TV. I never really had to sneak it. I would just go to a friend?s house. I never had to lie to my parents about TV or hide it from them. It was a genius ploy on my parents? part to get us kids more active and more engaged in reading. The reason I love sports and books today is in large part because I never was able to choose TV over them.

At this point my dad doesn?t need a TV because the internet has everything. He can stream sports or movies or TV shows. He is one of the best I know at finding free, legal sites to stream sporting events even if they?re not broadcast in English.

Would you trade one of your brothers for Johnny Manziel??

Well, they, certainly aren?t helping the Vikings win any games. I might trade two of them and a sibling to be named later for him.

Did you wear a WWJD bracelet? Do you still wear one??

I have never worn one. I?ve never even tried one on. Now, Bible verse snap bracelets and ?Lord?s Gym? T-shirts were a different story.

What was your parents initial reaction when you told them you wanted to be a cage fighter? Have they been supportive of that career??

They wondered why I would want to fight a cage. When I explained what that meant they corrected my grammar and informed me that I had used a misplaced modifier.

Who would you rather have on your pickup basketball team – John Piper, Al Mohler, Ligon Duncan, John MacArthur, or RC Sproul??

My dad could not only smoke any of those guys on the basketball court he can beat up your dad, too.

Have you ever attended a Sandi Patti concert? Did she crowdsurf?

I?m 31, not 47. But yes, she did.

Why should people spend their hard earned money on your book? What can they expect in return??

First of all, they don?t have to spend the hard earned money. They can spend the inheritance money or the ponzi scheme returns or the stolen loot if they like.

Second, they can expect an honest, thoughtful explanation and exploration of what life as a PK is like. My aim was to be forthright without tearing down my parents or pastors in general. I hope readers will be enlightened to the realities PKs face as well as challenged in their relationships with them. My goal is to see pastors and their kids come to a place of stronger relationship, even (especially) if it means working through some hard things. I want to see the church better equipped to support the pastor?s family and understand the burden they bear. And I want PKs to have a voice, to be able to process through some of the things they have dealt with but maybe never sorted through in a deep way.

Stephen Altrogge

I'm a husband, dad, writer, & Mixed Martial Arts Salsa Dancing Champion. I created The Blazing Center. I've also written some books which people seem to like.

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