Honest Captions For Christian Stock Photos

Let’s be honest: sometimes Christian stock photos are the worst. They take cheesiness to an entirely new level. Don’t believe me? Look at the photos below, along with the honest captions I provided for them.

Draw-Near-to-God
Lord, I’m here in this field, which is where Christians come when they are in crisis, and I need you to show me a sign, like the sun peeking through the clouds at exactly this second.
Prayer-Religious-Stock-Photos
Do you feel that? That’s me slowly crushing your windpipe. If you don’t quit sinning, I will kill you.
Seeking-God-Christian-Stock-Photo
Lord, I’m doing my devotions in this field in the middle of nowhere, just like the guy in that other photo. Because this is where the specialness takes place. I’m about to start dancing in this field of grace.
Hey welcome to our small group, which apparently meets on the streets. The leader must have said something funny because we're candidly laughing. But seriously, why are we on the streets?
Hey welcome to our small group, which apparently meets on the streets. And we laugh a lot. But seriously, why are we on the streets?
Field again. And sunshine poling through the darkness. Apparently these Christians do their devotions in Middle-Earth.
Field again.
Bible-in-the-Sky-Christian-Stock-Photo
Holding my big bad King James Bible high up in the sky. Not exactly sure why I’m doing this. Perhaps I’m listening to “I Pledge Allegiance To The Lamb” by Ray Boltz.
Now we're worshiping. On the streets. But seriously, why are we on the streets?
Now we’re worshiping. On the streets. But seriously, why are we on the streets?
Man-of-Faith-Christian-Stock-Photos
Whenever we was in trouble, papa would go out behind the barn and pray up a storm.
Oh hey. I was just playing my guitar. In fact, I'm always playing my guitar because I'm that kid in youth group who always is playing a guitar.
Oh hey. I was just playing my guitar. In fact, I’m always playing my guitar because I’m that kid in youth group who always is playing a guitar.

 

Stephen Altrogge

I'm a husband, dad, writer, & Mixed Martial Arts Salsa Dancing Champion. I created The Blazing Center. I've also written some books which people seem to like.