The 7 Types Of People You Meet In Sunday Worship

One of the great things about the Sunday gathering, is that people of ALL sorts gather together to sing to the Lord.

Here are the SEVEN types of people you find in worship.

Heart Of Worship Harry – Harry is always trying to get back to the “heart” of worship. Don’t try to slip anything flashy past Harry. Lights? Uhh, no. Smoke? You’ve got to be kidding. A heavy dose of electric guitar? No thanks. Those are all distractions.

Harry was content with worship ONCE. When he was by himself in the woods.

Tambourine Tom – When Tom was in college, he wanted to be in a band. There was just one problem: he sucked at music. Unfortunately, Tom’s friends didn’t have the heart to tell him just how bad he was. They didn’t want to hurt his feelings or put a damper on his glam-rock dreams.

So they gave him a tambourine.

Tom has been bringing his tambourine to church ever since.

The worship leader loves Tom.

Clappy Claire – Claire has passion. She’s overflowing with joy. She’s excited to sing and clap. Claire only lacks one thing:

RHYTHM.

Instead of clapping with the music, Claire claps with the lyrics. The phrase, “Lift up your voice and sing,” contains exactly SIX claps.

Claire has a bit of trouble on the song “A Mighty Fortress” (2,392 claps).

Harmony Henry – Henry was in choir all through high school and college. He is physically incapable of singing the melody of any worship song.

Too Loud Terry – If there’s one thing Terry can’t stand, it’s worship music that is too LOUD! It’s so loud she can’t hear herself sing. There is NO way that God is pleased with such a racket.

Worship needs to be softer. Always. Softer. No, that’s too loud. Softer still.

There was ONE time when worship was the right volume. That was when the entire band got food poisoning and the church had to do an accapella Sunday.

Every Sunday afternoon, Terry emails the worship leader to let him know that the worship was too loud.

Off-Key Oscar – Oscar loves to sing, and he sings louder than anyone.

Unfortunately, Oscar sings like a dying ringwraith.

Thankfully, God loves a joyful “noise”.

Personal Space Paul – For Paul, worship is a FULL body experience. He lifts his hands, claps with serious passion, and generally gets his worship groove on.

Just be careful not to stand too close to Paul. There’s a good chance you’ll get a shot to the jaw.

Stephen Altrogge

I'm a husband, dad, writer, & Mixed Martial Arts Salsa Dancing Champion. I created The Blazing Center. I've also written some books which people seem to like.