Lord, Make Me Viral

Lord, make me viral.
Not like a cold or the mumps, but like kittens and Dude Perfect.

I know you said your word will not return empty,
But these are my words, and they just might be void and empty.

Lord, make me viral,
Because despite public opinion publishing isn’t all that lucrative.

I know fame is fleeting and often harmful,
But I’m pretty sure I’m the exception to the rule.

Lord, make me viral,
I can do a spoken word video or invent some Hebrew words.

My launch team is mostly strangers I bribed with free stuff,
But did you see how big it is? (That’s a lot of Amazon reviews!)

Lord, make me viral,
I don’t really care why I’m famous I just want to be famous.

If enough people know me my life will be fulfilled,
Or at least my bank account will be because of obscenely priced video courses.

Lord, make me viral.
I really, really need a platform.

So what if it’s built on the fragile base of petrified standards
And a dried up conscience.

Lord, make me viral.
You know better than anyone that “numbers= real people.”

So please give me the numbers.
I promise, despite all evidence to the contrary, it’s not about me.

Amen