Goodness From The Interwebs for 12/15

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A handful of links that interested, amused or informed me from around the interwebs:
  • History’s most iconic leaders can be recognized instantly by most people (thus being “iconic). Imagine, though, if they were hipsters. Kind of makes you realize how silly hipsters look.
  • First dates can be awkward. But they will never be as awkward as if you use one of these 18, date-killing lines. Don’t worry; they’re clean.
  • Being a parent is tough. Kids are weird. Some kids are weirder than others, though, as revealed by these moms who point out their kids’ strange food preferences. Someone needs to be served up a big dish of “tough cookies” with a side of “eat it or starve.”
  • Everyone knows that one guy or girl who always over-pronounces foreign words. It’s the worst. And College Humor has dutifully and masterfully taken said perpetrators to task (Slightly NSFW language).

  • The Muppets are known for their musical movies and musical extravaganza shows. But did you know they do hip hop? Yep, almost exactly like Naughty By Nature.

Photo Credit: ted craig via Compfight cc

Woman Looks Back On Fruitful Year Of Bumper Sticker Ministry

Portland, OR — “I’d say this has been my best year yet,” said Theresa Banner, as she put the finishing touches on her “Bumper Banner Missions” year-in-review letter. “I definitely reached more lost people this year than I ever have. I guess you could say I kinda had a revival. I imagine Jonathan Edwards is looking down from heaven, feeling pretty happy about this Third Great Awakening.”

When asked about the reasons for her success, Theresa said, “I think it was the addition of the sticker which says, ‘Think It’s Hot Here?’ Whenever people saw that sticker they would fall under deep conviction. I mean, there’s no way to escape a message like that! People would see the sticker and think, Yeah, it is hot here. Oh man, my soul is in danger! I also added a TRUTH fish eating a Darwin fish eating a regular fish. When people saw that TRUTH fish they would think, You know, truth really does win out.”

Theresa also attributes much of her success to her evangelistic driving strategies. “In order for me to be a successful bumper sticker missionary I need to bring my message to the people. So I’ve developed a few special tactics to make my efforts more effective. The first tactic is called “The Love Nudge”. When traffic is backed up, I will slowly nudge my way into the other lane, forcing the car behind me to see the powerful truths on my bumper. The second tactic is called “The Bible Brake”. I’ll be going 65 mph down the highway and then suddenly slam on my brakes for no reason. The car behind me has no choice but to slam on his brakes or slam into my bumper. Either way, he sees the stickers!”

“Do people get angry and honk their horns and give me the bird? Sure. But people always get angry at the truth. Have I been fined fifteen times this past year for bad driving? Sure, but the local authorities always resist the truth. I just keep on going, doing the work of evangelism one car at a time.”

Theresa told reporters she is currently raising funds in order to purchase a snow plow for the front of her car, which, of course, she plans to cover in bumper stickers.

Goodness From the Interwebs for 12/8

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A handful of links that interested, amused or informed me from around the interwebs:
  • Every coach at every level, but especially the little league level, would like to not only hang this sign up, but mail it to every parent.
  • Garth Brooks is a mega super music star, but apparently he just recently got on Facebook. Given the creepiness of his intro video, I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

  • Bill Burr loves Thanksgiving, but hates Black Friday. As he puts it, “Nothing in Walmart is worth getting trampled for.”

Photo Credit: ted craig via Compfight cc

Goodness From The Interwebs for 12/1

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A handful of links that interested, amused or informed me from around the interwebs:
  • Mental Floss offers another of their fascinating maps, this time the most famous author from each state. I suspect this won’t cause much debate since most people (including me) can’t name more than one or two authors from their state. Nonetheless, it’s interesting.
  • Sometimes it’s amazing to see how cleverly designed different buildings and objects are. Sometimes, though, it’s marvelous to see how AWFUL certain designs are. Here are several of the worst.
  • Here’s how to win your ugly sweater contest this year: wear un ugly sweater suit! These will absolutely obliterate the competition. Happy Holidays!
  • Fred Armisen is a gifted, gifted man. His seamless, light-hearted imitations of various New York Accents while describing the subtleties of each sounds more like a wine connoisseur or an art critic than a stand up comic.

  • If it weren’t for the license plates I would absolutely assume this happened in Nashville. Worst drivers ever from anywhere, except wherever this took place.

Photo Credit: ted craig via Compfight cc

Man Sees Thousands Converted Through His Zealous Insistence On Saying “Merry Christmas”

happy-holidaysBridgeport, CN – Tony Meriweather won’t go down without a fight.

“They can take prayer out of the schools, they can take the Ten Commandments out of public places, they can take away live nativity scenes, but they can’t take ‘Merry Christmas’ away from me. They can pry ‘Merry Christmas’ out of my cold, dead hands.”

“When a clerk at a store says, ‘Happy Holidays’ to me, I stop and stare deep into their eyes for three to four minutes. I want them to feel the weight of conviction upon their souls. I want them to know that they are the victims of a colossal conspiracy between the liberal left and the devil. I want them to know that the road to Hell is paved with signs that say ‘Happy Holidays’. Finally, after a couple of minutes, I’ll let go of their hand and say, ‘No, Merry Christmas’.”

When asked about the results of his zealous crusade, Meriweather said, “Oh the fruit of my evangelism has been incredible! I mean, sure, I’ve been persecuted. I’ve been evicted from…let’s see…fifteen different stores, and I currently have a harassment suit leveled against me, but every true prophet faces persecution. And I’ve seen many, many people fall under conviction for their sins through my missionary work. How can I tell they are feeling guilty? They try to pull their hand away from mine. They refuse to look me in the eye for more than thirty seconds. They say things like, ‘Sir, if you don’t leave me alone I’m going to have to call security.”

Tony’s wife, Joan, said, “I really admire Tony for his commitment to fulfill the Great Commission. I don’t know if I would have the guts to do what he does. He certainly doesn’t have a spirit of fear!”

Goodness From the Interwebs for 11/24

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A handful of links that interested, amused or informed me from around the interwebs:
  • While this dog may not exactly be a whiz at obedience school, it’s not a stretch to say he’s way smarter than those other dogs and will go far in life!

  • Really, Texas? Just because you don’t want to be part of the U.S. of A. doesn’t mean you should neglect your young people’s civics education so grossly. This is shameful (and funny).

Photo Credit: ted craig via Compfight cc

If Church History Were Reported By Upworthy

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The website Upworthy is notorious for it’s gushing, over the top, massively politically correct headlines. So what would it look like it Upworthy reported on key events in church history? Probably something like this.

  • Saul used to be a Christian killer. Then he saw something that totally changed his mind. #OpenMinded
  • The Pope tried to censor Martin Luther. You’re never going to believe what Luther did next! #StandUpToBullying
  • The Council Of Nicea met to discuss the identity of Christ. They had no idea what they were in for! #Shocked
  • St. Augustine used to sleep around and objectify women. Then THIS happened! #Hope #TearsOfJoy #YesAllWomen
  • The Muslims thought they were in control of the Holy Land. What the Pope did next will shock you! #CrusadeAgainstBullies
  • John and Charles Wesley?THOUGHT they were Christians. But these inspiring people changed their minds. #MoravianRoleModels #YesThis
  • Jonathan Edwards preached what he thought was an ordinary sermon. Then things got REALLY crazy. #SinnersInTheHandsOfAnAngryGod #ButWeAllHaveOurOwnViewOfGod #WhyDidWeRunThisStory?
  • John Knox was told to stay out of Scotland. But he had other ideas. #DoTheRightThing
  • John Bunyan was put in prison to keep him from preaching. What he did in prison will make you rethink everything. #Progress
  • William Wilberforce saw a problem he didn’t like. So he did something about it. #BeTheChange #PayItForward
  • They told Charles Spurgeon that he was too young. They didn’t expect this. #YouthMovement