Just In Time For Christmas

Are you tired of secular Inflatable Christmas Lawn Ornaments, like Santa Claus, Grinch, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Bart Simpson Santa? ?Well, now your front yard can send a Christian message to all your neighbors.

We at The Blazing Center are pleased to introduce our brand new line of Christian Leader Inflatable Christmas Lawn Ornaments.? Standing 12 feet tall each and economically priced at $299.99 plus shipping, these colorful ornaments will not only add Christmas cheer to your neighborhood, but provoke your neighbors to curiosity and to think about what?s really important in life.

Our first ornament is the John Piper ?Don?t Waste Your Christmas? Inflatable Lawn Ornament.

Every time your neighbors pass your house they will be challenged to throw out their sea shell collections and do something spiritually worthwhile, like go to their church and serve by setting up the big screen TV for the Super Bowl Party.

Next is our CJ Mahaney ?Better Than I Deserve? Lawn Ornament.

This incredible inflatable comes with a CD that keeps repeating the phrases, ?Santa just put on a clinic in generosity,? and ?Christmas is a hill we?re going to die on.? ?The point of this ornament is that every time your neighbors see it, they?ll say, ?I?m doing better than I deserve.? I should be dead, but instead I live next to a neighbor who puts an inflatable CJ in his yard.?

Now we have our Bob Kauflin ?Perfect Posture? Lawn Ornament.

All the children in the neighborhood will walk taller and straighter as they are constantly inspired by Bob?s perfectly straight back when he sits at the piano. ?This ornament comes with 16 pre-recorded motion-activated songs, so that when someone walks by on the street they will hear hits like, ?Santa Claus Isn?t Coming to Town Cause He?s Not Real,? and other songs to get families talking.

Finally, we have our Joshua Harris Reindeer Yard Globe.

This dazzling globe, a perfect sphere 150 times the size of Joshua?s own perfectly proportioned head is lit from within by 2,000 tiny lightbulbs, and glows so brightly, your neighbors will be able to read their Bibles without turning on any lights in their own homes.? They’ll love you for it.

So order yours today. ?And watch for more inflatables to come, like our line of Puritan Preachers, featuring a giant Charles Spurgeon smoking a cigar.? This ornament belches out enough cigar smoke to envelop 10 city blocks.? Order now.? Supplies are limited.

Mark Altrogge

I’m a pastor at Saving Grace Church in Indiana, PA. I’m married to Kristi, have 5 kids, and a growing number of grandkids. I enjoy songwriting, oil painting and coffee, not necessarily in that order.