The Headlines of the Future – Mark Driscoll Plants Church On the Moon

Sometimes when I get bored I like to think about what the Christian headlines of the future will be. What will magazines like Christianity Today be saying in 25 years? Maybe something like this…

Mark Driscoll Initiates Space Church Planting Program

SEATTLE: In a surprise move, Mark Driscoll has announced that Acts 29 Ministries will definitely be planting a church on the moon in the next five years. This announcement comes just one week after Acts 29 announced that they have officially planted a church in every city in the world, including the city of Chernobyl, which is still uninhabited after the nuclear meltdown that happened fifty years ago.

When asked to comment he said, “Yes we know that life has not technically been discovered on the moon, but we still feel the need to plant this church. For all we know, there could be unreached peoples on the dark side of the moon. Heck, life has not technically been discovered in Texas yet either!”

When asked about the difficulties in traveling to and from the moon he said, “You know, we’re currently doing 240 services on Sunday mornings using a combination of holograph and teleport technology. I don’t see why we can’t do something like that on the moon.”

According to sources within Acts 29, plans are also in motion to plant churches on Mars, Venus, and possibly Pluto, depending on if it gets reinstated as an official planet.

Note: I love Mark Driscoll and the guys at Acts 29. I want to be like them when I grow up. If you’ve never heard Driscoll preach, you can do so here.

Stephen Altrogge

I’m a husband, dad, writer. I drink too much coffee and know too much about Star Wars. I created The Blazing Center. I’ve also written some books which people seem to like. You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook