How Do I Grow in Love?


The New Testament often distills the Christian life down to its most basic essence: faith and love. For instance, Galatians 5:6:

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but only faith working through love.

Or consider Paul?s summary exhortation to Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:13:

Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Of course, other descriptions apply as well ? but, in the broadest sense, faith and love pretty much cover it. Faith towards God ? belief in his promises, in who he says he is for us in Jesus Christ ? that?s the vertical element. And love, directed towards others ? that?s the horizontal element.

Which, of course, leads to a question: how do you grow in love? You know you?re supposed to love your wife, or your neighbor, or the other members of your church. And you do love them ? but you want to grow in that love. What do you do? What does that look like? A change in emotion? More warm-fuzzies? More sentimentality?

Here?s a simple answer. Love expresses itself in actions for someone?s good. If you want to grow in love, grow in taking actions ? real, concrete actions ? that do good to another person.

You?re probably thinking, Wait: isn?t love an emotion, too? Yes, emotions are a necessary part of love. If you claim to love a person but never have any feelings of warmth, affection, enjoyment of their presence, happiness for their success or sadness over their loss ? then you probably don?t genuinely love that person. But the emotions of love, like any other emotion, are such an up-and-down, unstable thing that if we?re really going to grow in love, we can?t just sit around and wait for an overwhelming emotion to strike us. The call to love is too vital for such inactivity. Instead of waiting for the Emot-O-Meter to rise, take action. Do something. What does that look like?

A meal delivered when the new baby comes. A card written on the anniversary of a significant loss. Help with an oil change. A day given to pack boxes and load the moving truck, a word of gratefulness for a service rendered, a word of encouragement when someone has stepped out in faith. ?Doing good? has a thousand outfits but a few of them are formal dress. Most of the time, love wears its street clothes.

So here?s an assignment: consider a few people around you that you are called to love. Pray for them, and ask God for a concrete idea to bring good to that person. (Be content to think small.) Then go and do it! You?ve just taken a step of love. Now repeat.

Oh, and don?t forget ? you can give love because you?ve already received love. Remember the apostle John?s words: ?In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.? Even today, the God who saved you through the gift of his Son is plotting kindness towards you in a thousand disguises: food, protection, friendships, moments of worship and spiritually enlightened eyes and fellowship in prayer. We?re simply imitating him, the God who is kind in all his works (Psalm 145:17).

So go, put on your street clothes, think small, be creative, and demonstrate love. It?s a family trait.

Photo by Kophe